I Only Wish
by RareBlooRose
Summary: I only wish that you could have stayed here with me, Sasuke...NO FLAMES ALLOWED! NOTE! While reading this story and to get a better feel for it listen to Gwen Stefani's Early Winter. It's depressing but it helps you get in the mood. ENJOY!
1. Chapter 1

I Only Wish...

"It's not fair... IT'S NOT FAIR!!!" I shouted to heavens as the snow melted onto my hot tears as they streamed down my face.

I was mad but most of all I was sad, sad that the only love of my life was gone and he was never coming back.

**Five Years Earlier**

"What?!" I yelled at my teammate that I've loved for so long.

"I said I'm going to Orochimaru's in a few days, Naruto, I'm sorry." Sasuke put his head down as he spoke to me.

"H-how could you!!?" I said as I choked on my sobs that were coming down my face.

He picked up his head and just looked at me; looked at me with so much pain in his eyes.

"Naruto..." He said my name in a hushed tone as he reached a hand out to comfort me but I smacked it away.

I was mad at Sasuke, No, I was furious at him for leaving me like this on such short notice.

I couldn't take it so I ran, I ran as far as my legs could take me.

I ran all the way to my little apartment all the way to my room as I slammed and locked the door shut.

I cradled myself as I let the sound of my heartbreak filled the air of my cold, dark and isolated room.

I stayed there for most of the time that I could have spent with him.

But I was too scared to see him.

I thought that if I saw him I'd never see him again.

I knew I wouldn't but I just couldn't face the truth.

I finally opened the door to my room to find my former sensei, Iruka and my current sensei, Kakashi and my comrade, Sakura.

They were sitting on my two couches that were on two separated sides of the room.

Kakashi was holding Iruka in his arms as my father slept soundly.

I could see the tear marks on my beloved father's face.

Once Sakura yelled out my name Kakashi turned his head to look in my direction as Iruka woke up and rushed over towards me, but he stopped in his tracks when he saw that I was staring at something.

I was.

Sasuke...

I could feel the tears start to weld up inside me as I turned to run back to my little sanctuary, my dark room, where I could be alone.

But as I faced my door Sasuke was standing in front of it with his hand extended out to each side of him.

I turned around to run for the front door but he blocked it also.

"Naruto, please listen to what I have to say!" He pleaded.

I wanted to listen, I really did but that would mean that I would have to face the fact that he was leaving and he was never coming back.

I panicked as I headed towards the window.

I bunched myself up as I jumped through it.

I ran as fast as I could.

I had to get away from him, from facing the truth, from facing my feeling for him.

Sasuke was catching up to me.

I had to run faster, I couldn't face him, not in the state I was in.

He liked the strong, never-shows-his-feeling-Naruto not this pathetic heap that was running from him.

I couldn't take it any more.

I must have almost run all the way around the village.

"I'm pretty pathetic, huh, Sasuke?" I asked him as I placed my hands on my knees trying to catch my breath while my back was still turned from him.

"What are you talking about?!" Sasuke was trying to catch his breath also.

I could hear the cold air smack into his nice, soft lips each time he breathed in.

Oh, how I wish I could feel those lips for myself with my own.

I continued to speak, not once answering his questions.

"I'm suppose to be the strong, bright one of the village but instead I lock myself in my room for six days straight and you're leaving tomorrow.

All this time that I could have talked to you, tried to talk you out of it, or even tell you my feelings for you, but NO! I was to selfish and only thought of myself!!" I could hear the man that I loved so much say my name.

I've always dreamt of him saying my name in a hushed tone.

But it wasn't the way I wanted him to say it.

He sounded as if he had pity in his voice.

I didn't want pity from him, I wanted his love.

"What would I do if I never saw him again?

How would I survive?

That's how I was so selfish; I just wanted you all for myself.

I never once thought to how Sakura, Ino or the rest of the girls of the village might think of even Kakashi-Sensei would think, He did make you his son after all.

No, I never once thought of anybody else but myself." I couldn't hold back the tears that I was trying to hold back.

My knees buckled beneath me as I fell to the cold hard ground as two

Pools of blood seeped through my orange jumpsuit.

I didn't fell the pain from my knees I only noticed them.

Noticing hurt more then knowing that the person that I loved was going to leave me forever.

I could hear the sound of Sasuke's blue sandals approach me as I buried my face within my hands as I cried more that I've ever have In my entire life.

"I'm a horrorable person!!!!" I screamed

Sasuke put a hand on my shoulder and he told me:

"No, you're not! You have got to be one of the sweetest people that I've ever met!" He tried to comfort me but it wasn't working.

"Don't lie to me!!"

I could tell that he had gotten angry by the growl that I heard deep in his thought.

As he kneeled down to my level he pulled me into a tight embrace as he told he:

"I told you that you're not a horrorable person, Naruto!"

"Yeah, Right, Your just telling me this because you don't want to have a guilty conscience when you leave tomorrow!" I wasn't happy with him telling me a lie and the hug wasn't making up for it.

"I'm not lying to you!!"

"Then why, why are you telling me that I'm not a bad person!!" I said as I pushed myself off of he so that I could look him straight in the eyes.

"Because I love you!!" A blush came across Sasuke's face as he said this.

An even deeper one came across my face as the tears came back at full force.

I lunged at him causing him to land flat on his back onto the cold, hard ground.

I hugged him ever so tightly but not enough so that he couldn't breath.

I was so happy!

'He loves me! He actually loves me!!' I cheered in my head with excitement.

But one thing crossed my mind as I pushed myself from him and sat up to look him straight in the eyes before he could return the hug I just gave him.

"If you love me, then why are you going to go to Orochimaru's tomorrow, Sasuke?" It was hard for me to try to maintain my tears that were treating fall but I kept them at bay.

Sasuke sat himself up and placed his head down and answered my question.

"I have to go so that I can avenge my family and clan's death."

I know that he had to avenge his families' death but there was more, I know it.

"Sasuke, I know that there's more to why you leaving for Orochimaru." I could fell the tears coming back.

I couldn't stop them.

"Please don't lie to me..." I choked on my sobs yet again.

Sasuke reached out and caressed my cheek before he leaned forward and licks the tears that fell from my eyes.

As he went back into the position that he was in before he answered my question.

"Because... I can't risk him or any of his pawns coming near you or even hurting you. Or worse..."

For the first time in my life I saw the Great Sasuke Uchiha cry!

He never cried!

He was the strong one, and me... I was the selfish son of a bitch that only cared about himself.

"Hey...!" I called to him as he jerked his head up to look at me as the tears silently fell from his beautiful pitch black eyes.

"I'm the one who's supposed to be crying.

You're the one who's leaving me.

Not the other way around.

Your the one who's going to leave me and never come back."

I stoop up on to my feet and turned to walk away but I didn't move when I heard the love of my life call my name.

"NARUTO!! PLEASE DON'T RUN AWAY FROM ME AGAIN!!!" He begged me.

I could hear his sobs.

I turned around as the cold air hit me in the face making Sasuke's hair blow in the wind as if he was a crying angel.

"How do you expect me not to run, huh?

You're leaving me and I'll never get a chance to see you again!!!" The pain was too much to bear.

So I put my head down while the tears once again fell.

My shoulders slowly moved up and down slowly as if they were trying to comfort me.

"Naruto..."

I didn't want to here him so I blocked my ears as I screamed in pain.

He noticed my pain and came running and pulled me into another tight embrace.

I let go of all my pain in those few moments while Sasuke was holding me.

Those few moments felt like years.

And I treasured every last one.

"Sasuke...?" I asked him as the wind caressed our entangled bodies.

"Yes...?"

"Could you please just spend this one night with me, please?" I was desperate.

"Sure?" I could tell that a smile had played upon his face.

We finally let go of each other and headed back to my house hand in hand with not a word escaping either of our mouths.

We didn't do anything that night as we just laid there in my bed, our bodies tangled within another.

We didn't have sex because we knew if we did it would be hard to let of each other.

We didn't kiss because if we did we knew that would make it even harder to let go of one another.

No, all we did was sit there as the snow began to fall on the ground outside.

I awoke the next morning to an empty bed.

I mentally sighed.

I knew it would have been easier for him to leave without saying a word to one another.

As I left the only place were me and Sasuke will ever be together I noticed a note on my dresser with what looked like Sasuke's headband.

The tears began to fall.

I read note:

_'Dear Naruto,_

_I'm so sorry that I had to leave you like this, I really am._

_I hope that you can forgive me._

_I promise that I'll come back so that we can finally be together once I kill Itachi once and for all!_

_When I see you, you have to recap everything to what has happened since I've been gone._

_It may be a few months to years until I return to the village._

_But I swear that I'll come back so that we can be together and have a family._

_I always wanted a little girl._

_We can finally be happy when I come back!_

_I'm terribly sorry for having to do this to you, I really am._

_I left you this headband so that I could have something to come back to._

_Besides you, of course_

_I only wish that I could've stay here with you._

_I have to go._

_I'm sorry Naruto!_

_Love,_

_Sasuke_

_P.S._

_I love you'_

The tears fell down my pink skin and hit the dresser as I clutched the final thing that I had of Sasuke to my chest.

I loosely tied his leaf headband around my neck as I went to the spot where he confessed his love to me.

I went down on my knees then to my stomach.

I didn't care about the stinging sensation that I felt on my bleeding knees or the shot of coldness I felt when my face when I placed it on the lightly snowed on ground.

I didn't care about the looks I was getting as people passed me by.

The only thing I had on my mind was the man who had just left me to die from the inside out.

**Present Day**

It's been five years since then.

Dad told me that Orochimaru had killed him the day he reported to him.

Orochimaru saw the night when Sasuke had confessed his love to me.

He left a note on the bloody body saying that he had no use for fags in his unit.

So he killed him the quick and easy way.

He slit his throat with a kunai knife, threw it away and just walked away as if his death meant nothing.

I refused to believe it.

I screamed, yelled and even slashed my father's cheek with my razor sharp nails as he tried to calm me down.

As he held his cheek in amazement that I had struck him he said these words:

"If you don't want to believe these words of truth that I have to tell you then you can live in this fantasy world that you choose to live in."

I called out to him.

"Dad..."

He told me.

"Don't call me that! Your not the Naruto that I use to know."

That's the last time I ever say my dad- I mean my ex-sensei Iruka.

I heard that he and Kakashi had left the village to start a

New life and family, the same thing that Sasuke had always wanted.

Ever since that event no one has ever made contact with me.

All I did was just sit in my cold and lonely room thinking of what could have been if you were still alive.

These were that last words I ever said when I killed myself the same way that Orochimaru had killed you, Sasuke.

I laid face first into the blood-covered snow with a kunai knife in hand right above you grave.

I only wish that you could have come back.

Then everything would all right.

I only wish that I had enough will power to tell you I loved you back.

I only wish...

**End**


	2. Chapter 1Revised!

I Only Wish...

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**-Strawberry Kitten-**

Okay I fixed this up a little bit.

Even though this story is **very **depressing...

thank you for the people who liked the story enough to review!!

Thanks a bunch!!

**-Also-**

It's a good idea to listen to Gwen Stefani's "Early Winter" when you read this.

If The song is over before you're done with the fic.

Then just keep on repeating it untill you finish it.

That way you can get a better feel for the story as I did.

**-Also-**

The character in this are almost completly OOC!!

You have been warned!!

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**Disclamer:**

I do not own Naruto

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"It's not fair... IT'S NOT FAIR!!!" I shouted to heavens as the snow melted onto my hot tears as they streamed down my face.

I was mad but most of all I was sad; sad that the only love of my life was gone and he was never coming back.

**Five Years Earlyer**

"What?!" I yelled at my teammate that I've loved for so long.

"I said I'm going to Orochimaru's in a few days, Naruto, I'm sorry." Sasuke put his head down as he spoke to me.

"H-how could you!!?" I said as I choked on my sobs that were coming down my face.

He picked up his head and just looked at me; looked at me with so much pain in his eyes.

"Naruto..." He said my name in a hushed tone as he reached a hand out to comfort me but I smacked it away.

I was mad at Sasuke, No, I was furious at him for leaving me like this on such short notice.

I couldn't take it so I ran, I ran as far as my legs could take me.

I ran all the way to my little apartment all the way to my room as I slammed and locked the door shut.

I craddled myself as I let the sound of my heartbreak filled the air of my cold, dark and isolated room.

I stayed there for most of the time that I could have spent with him.

But I was too scared to see him.

I thought that if I saw him I'd never see him again.

I knew I wouldn't but I just couldn't face the truth.

I finally opened the door to my room to find my former sensei, Iruka and my current sensei, Kakashi and my comrada, Sakura.

They were sitting on my two couches that were on two seperated sides of the room.

Kakashi was holding Iruka in his arms as my father slept soundly.

I could see the tear marks on my beloved father's face.

Once Sakura yelled out my name Kakashi turned his head to look in my direction as Iruka woke up and rushed over towards me, but he stopped in his tracks when he saw that I was staring at something.

I was.

Sasuke...

I could feel the tears start to weld up inside me as I turned to run back to my little sanchuary, My dark room, where I could be alone.

But as I faced my door Sasuke was standing in front of it with his hand extened out to each side of him.

I turned around to run for the front door but he blocked it also.

"Naruto, please listen to what I have to say!" He pleaded.

I wanted to listen, I really did but that would mean that I would have to face the fact that he was leaving and he was never coming back.

I panicked as I headed twords the window.

I bunched myself up as I jumped through it.

I ran as fast as I could.

I had to get away from him, from facing the truth, from facing my feeling for him.

Sasuke was catching up to me.

I had to run faster, I couldn't face him, Not in the state I was in.

He liked the strong, never-shows-his-feelings-Naruto not this pathic heap that was running from him.

I couldn't take it any more.

I must of almost ran all the way around the village.

"I'm pretty pathic,huh, Sasuke?" I asked him as I placed my hands on my knees trying to catch my breath while my back was still turned from him.

"What are you talking about?!" Sasuke was trying to catch his breath also.

I could hear the cold air smack into his nice, soft lips each time he breathed in.

Oh, how I wish I could feel thoses lips for myself with my own.

I contuned to speak, not once answering his questions.

"I'm supose to be the strong, bright one of the village but instead I lock myself in my room for six days stright and you're leaving tommorrow.

All this time that I could have talked to you, tryed to talk you out of it, or even tell you my feelings for you, but NO! I was to selfish and only thought of myself!!" I could hear the man that I loved so much say my name.

I've always dreamt of him saying my name in a hushed tone.

But It wasn't the way I wanted him to say it.

He sounded as if he had pitty in his voice.

I didn't want pitty from him, I wanted his love.

"What would I do if I never saw him again?

How would I surive?

That's how I was so selfish, I just wanted you all for myself.

I never once thought to how Sakura, Ino or the rest of the girls of the village might think of even Kakashi-Sensei would think, He did make you his son after all.

No, I never once thought of anybody else but myself." I couldn't hold back the tears that I was trying to hold back.

My knees buckled beneath me as I fell to the cold hard ground as two pools of blood seeped through my orange jumpsuit.

I didn't fell the pain from my knees I only noticed the blood seeping through them.

Nothing hurt more then knowing that the person I love was going to leave me forever.

I could hear the sound of Sasuke's blue sandles approch me as I buried my face within my hands as I cried more that I've ever have In my entire life.

"I'm a horrorable person!!!!" I screamed.

Sasuke put a hand on my sholder and he told me:

"No, you're not! You have got to be one of the sweetest people that I've ever met!" He tryed to comfort me but it wasn't working.

"Don't lie to me!!"

I could tell that he had gotten angry by the growl that I heard deep in his throught.

As he kneeld down to my level he pulled me into a tight embrace as he told he:

"I told you that your not a horrorable person, Naruto!"

"Yeah, Right, Your just telling me this because you don't want to have a guilty conscience when you leave tomarrow!" I wasn't happy with him telling me a lie and the hug wasn't making up for it.

"I'm not lying to you!!"

"Then why?! Why are you telling me that I'm not a bad person!!" I said as I pushed myself off of him so that I could look him stright in the eyes.

"Because I love you!!" A blush came across Sasuke's face as he said this to me.

An even deeper one came across my face as the tears came back at full force.

I lunged at him causing him to land flat on his back onto the cold, hard ground.

I hugged him ever so tightly but not enough so that he couldn't breath.

I was so happy!

'He loves me! He actually loves me!!' I cheered in my head with exitment.

But one thing crossed my mind as I pushed myself from him and sat up to look him stright in the eyes before he could return the hug I just gave him.

"If you love me, then why are you going to go to Orochimaru's tomarrow, Sasuke?" It was hard for me to try to maintain my tears that were threathing to fall but I kept them at bay.

Sasuke sat himself up and placed his head down and answered my question.

"I have to go so that I can avenge my family and clan's death."

I know that he had to avenge his familes death but there was more, I know It.

"Sasuke, I know that there's more to why you leaving for Orochimaru."

"Please don't lie to me..." I choked on my sobs yet again.

Sasuke reached out and caressed my cheek before he leand forword and lick the tears that fell from my eyes.

As he went back into the position that he was in before he answered my question.

"Beacuse... I can't risk him or any of his pawns coming near you. Or worse..."

For the first time in my life I saw the Great Sasuke Uchiha cry!

He never cryed!

He was the strong one, and me... I was the selfish son of a bitch that only cared about himself.

"Hey..." I called to him as he jerked his head up to look at me as the tears silently fell from his beautiful pitch black eyes.

"I'm the one who's suposed to be crying.

Your the one who's leaving me.

Not the other way around.

Your the one who's going to leave me and never come back."

I stoop up on to my feet and turned to walk away but I didn't move when I heard the love of my life call my name.

"NARUTO!! PLEASE DON'T RUN AWAY FROM ME AGAIN!!!" He begged me.

I could hear his sobs.

I turned around as the cold air hit me in the face making Sasuke's hair blow in the wind as if he was a crying angel.

"How do you expect me not to run, huh?! Your leaving me and I'll never get a chance to see you again!!!" The pain was too much to bare.

So I put my head down while the tears once again fell.

My sholders slowly moved up and down slowly as if they were trying to comfort me.

"Naruto..."

I didn't want to here him so I blocked my ears as I screamed in pain.

He noticed my pain and came running and pulled me into another tight embrace.

I let go of all my pain in those few moments while Sasuke was holding me.

Thoses few moments felt like years.

And I treasured every last one.

"Sasuke...?" I asked him as the wind cerassed our intangled bodies.

"Yes...?"

"Could you please just spend this one night with me... Please?" I was desprate.

"Sure?" I could tell that a smile had played upon his face.

We finally let go of each other and headed back to my house hand in hand with not a word escaping either of our mouth's.

We didn't do anything that night as we just layed there in my bed, our bodies tangled within another.

We didn't have sex because we knew if we did it would be hard for him to leave.

We didn't kiss because if we did we knew that would make it even harder to let go of one another.

All we did was sit there as the snow began to fall on the ground outside.

I awoke the next moring to an empty bed.

I mentaly sighed.

I knew it would have been easier for him to leave without saying a word.

As I left the only place were me and Sasuke will ever be together I noticed a note on my dresser with what looked like Sasuke's headband.

The tears began to fall.

I read note:

_**'Dear Naruto,**_

_**I'm so sorry that I had to leave you like this, I really am.**_

_**I hope that you can forgive me.**_

_**I promise that I'll come back so that we can finally be together once I kill Itachi once and for all!**_

_**When I see you, you have to tell me everything that happened since I've been gone.**_

_**It may be a few months to years untill I return to the village.**_

_**But I swear that I'll come back so that we can be together and have a family.**_

_**I always wanted a little girl.**_

_**We can finally be happy when I come back!**_

_**I'm terribly sorry for having to do this to you, I really am.**_

_**I left you this headband so that I could have something to come back to.**_

_**(Besides you, of course)**_

_**I only wish that I could've stay here with you.**_

_**I have to go.**_

_**I'm sorry Naruto!**_

_**I really am!!**_

_**Love,**_

_**Sasuke**_

_**P.S.**_

_**I love you!'**_

The tears fell down my peach skin and hit the dresser as I cluched the final thing that I had of Sasuke to my chest.

I loosely tied his leaf headband around my neck as I went to the spot where he confessed his love to me.

I went down on my knees then to my stomach.

I didn't care about the stinging sensaton that I felt on my bleeding knees or the shot of coldness I felt on my face when I placed it on the lightly snowed ground.

I didn't care about the looks I was getting as people passed me by.

The only thing I had on my mind was the man who had just left me to die from the inside.

**Present Day**

It's been five years since then.

Dad told me that Orochimaru had killed him the day he reported to him.

Orochimaru saw the night when Sasuke had confessed his love to me.

He left a note on the bloody body saying that he had no use for fags in his unit.

So he kill him the quick and easy way.

He slit his throat with a kunai knife, threw it away and just walked away as if his death ment nothing.

I refused to belive it.

I screamed, yelled and even slashed my father's cheek with my razor sharp nails as he tried to calm me down.

As he held his cheek in amazment that I had struck him he said these words to me:

"If you don't want to belive these words of truth that I have to tell you then you can live in this fantasy world that you choose to live in."

I called out to him.

"Dad..."

He told me.

"Don't call me that! Your not the Naruto that I use to know.

The Naruto that I kno would not be going around crying, yelling and screaming when someone tells him the truth.

Who ever you are? You're not Naruto!

You're just some whining little brat!!"

That's the last time I ever say my dad- I mean my ex-sensei Iruka.

I heard that he and Kakashi had left the village to start a new life and family together, the same thing that Sasuke had always wanted.

Ever since that event no one has ever made contact with me.

All I did was just sit in my cold and lonely room thinking of what could have been if you were still alive.

These were that last words I ever said when I killed myself the same way that Orochimaru had killed you, Sasuke.

I layed face first into the blood covered snow with a kunai knife in hand right above you grave.

I only wish that you could have came back.

Then everything would alright.

I only wish that I had enough will power to tell you I loved you back.

I only wish...

But I guess wishing's not enough.

**End**

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**Extra!!**

**------------**

**This was suppose to be a songfic to the song I told you about above.**

**Anyhow...**

**I really hope you liked the story!!**

**Love you all!!**


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